Five Friends Who Kept Jeff and Annie's Secret
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Jeff and Annie's secret relationship is discovered in secret by each of their friends throughout the spring semester. But each of them keeps their knowledge to themselves for various reasons – or at least most of them are able to. Based on a fic prompt.


**Based on a Milady/Milord fic prompt from eleventhimpala, who instructed "Jeff and Annie are secretly dating. At various times during the year, a different member of the group finds out and decides to keep it a secret, thinking that they are the only ones who know."**

**Abed**

Abed saw the very start of Jeff and Annie's secret relationship in late January. Of course, it happened on one of the few moments he didn't have access to a camera – and the hidden one in the study room was undergoing repairs.

As such, Abed couldn't hear anything when he saw them talking in the locked study room that afternoon. But he knew enough about their character arcs and history to take a guess. They were due for one of their evasive emotional confrontations during February sweeps, anyway. As usual, Jeff seemed to be straining to say emotional words….yet it looked like he was succeeding more than usual.

Soon, it dawned on Abed that he _was _succeeding. And then it hit him – this was it. He was confessing his feelings for Annie a full season ahead of schedule. It wasn't supposed to happen until the climax of the graduation finale next year, but Jeff was rewriting the script.

Didn't he know by confessing now, they'd keep getting together and breaking up for the next year-and-a-half until the finale, when everyone was too burnt out to care anymore? Abed had seen way too many shows and couples crash and burn with that much time on their hands – and having _this _series end that way was inexcusable. But after saving Dean Pelton from his ultra-predictable meltdown, Abed couldn't inject himself in _another _ending this soon….right?

Abed's focus returned to the actual scene once he saw Jeff deflate a bit. He had clearly just made his confession and was now going over why he and Annie shouldn't work again. Abed never could figure if Jeff's self-hatred around Annie was in character, considering his gigantic ego in everything else.

Yet Abed put it aside when Annie marched up with her 'formidable face' as Jeff called it. Abed and Troy called it her 'turn off Inspector Spacetime NOW and not at 4 a.m.' face, but to each his own. In any case, she was now using that face and some kind of big third act romcom speech to set Jeff straight.

Abed thought Annie would have this dramatic breakthrough a year from now as well. Saving it for the end would do more to touch the audience, after all. But after two-and-a-half seasons, they were likely rooting hard enough for Annie already – maybe even for Jeff too. They had probably imagined how they'd get together for years….and this did seem to be better than many fanfics.

Even though Abed couldn't hear Jeff and Annie, their facial acting was leagues better than the McConaughey's, Jessica Parker's and even the Grants of the world. And since he was bigger fans of them than anyone else other than Troy….it did make it a relief to see them happy.

And other than box office, merchandising, covering up pr scandals, winning Oscars and paying off a fourth mansion, isn't that what storytelling was all about? Being happy to see two deserving main characters and close friends happy, even if they went off script? A script they already rewrote and made more interesting many times before today?

Besides, although Jeff and Annie were coming together, it would be out of character for them to be open about it now. They'd likely keep it a secret until May sweeps, then have everything exposed in a dramatic cliffhanger. That would keep things interesting heading into the final season – then maybe they'd only break up _once _that year for lack of good plot twists.

As Abed saw them hug, he knew it was a good time to fade to black – i.e., walk away while the story was still PG-13. He wouldn't tell the group what he saw, and there was no point in making Jeff and Annie worry by telling them. Abed had violated his "fly on the wall" philosophy when Dean Pelton had no way out – but Jeff and Annie were made of stronger stuff than that. And this audience member was very satisfied that they were.

Plus it was probably time to focus on his Troy/Britta theories anyway.

**Shirley**

Two weeks after Abed's discovery, Shirley made one of her own at the end of classes. As she walked towards the parking lot to drive home, she saw Jeff at a distance before seeing Annie coming over to him. Jeff seemed to briefly look around before Annie hugged him, then he kissed her and walked with her almost snuggled against him.

Shirley followed them, planning to catch up and _then _start yelling at Jeff and praying for what remained of Annie's soul. It was already on illegal life support due to the Jewish stuff, but now she'd need _at least_ 10 backdoor conversions! However, Shirley would save her voice until she was in closer range of them.

But as she planned out her speeches/exorcism rituals in her head, she saw them making greater googly eyes than ever before. Shirley was all too used to those after three years of sitting near the both of them. In fact, Jeff's googly eyes looked almost as sappy and romantic as Annie's…..which didn't seem humanely or even Godly possible.

Shirley knew that Annie believed in true love and romance in a way that Jeff didn't – or went out of his way to prove he didn't. If they ever got in a relationship, Shirley figured Jeff just wanted...his premarital way with Annie and would bail on the rest. But with the way Jeff looked at her….either he was still working on 'closing the deal' as Satanists put it, or he had and was just stringing Annie along to preserve his manhood. But it didn't look like the former….or even the latter.

Those were the most schmoopy eyes she'd seen since Andre's in their first courtship….although that didn't turn out well. But then after that, it turned out pretty good again. At that point, Shirley almost groaned loud enough for Jeff and Annie to hear her.

Just as she knew in the back of her head that this would happen, she knew they'd probably play the Andre card if she called them out. But although old Andre acted much worse than Jeff and Shirley accepted that _he _could change, Jeff was still rotten boyfriend material. He was a surprisingly great and devoted friend half the time….but not always boyfriend material. Certainly not for a 21-year old, anyway.

But Annie would just defend him anyway, like she defended lots of other rotten things. Then again, maybe it was harsh to call Jeff rotten. Yet his history with women wasn't something to brag about, despite all the bragging he did about it. Leaving aside how he hadn't done it for months….or how he never looked or even talked about other women the way he did with Annie. Or how his hand was hesitating to grasp Annie's….maybe not because of how it would look in public….

Once they finally held hands, Shirley held her breath – whether it was to hold back a growl or an "Aww," she didn't know. As sweet as Jeff and Annie looked, this was _still _an older friend taking advantage of a younger, naïve friend….right? The temptation to say no was overwhelming, yet if it was tempting, by God's law it couldn't be good for her or them.

This was certainly far more complex than Shirley imagined – and therefore she couldn't decide what to do now. So she backed off and let Jeff and Annie walk out of range, ignoring the sinful things they could get away with tonight….if they _were_ sinful.

The only thing Shirley really knew was that no one else could know about this. Once they did, she'd have to make a decision she was….less ready for than expected. She had to buy time by keeping their secret, especially from the group. They'd expect her to bring God's wrath down on them, but until she knew how – or if – she couldn't be put in that position.

Maybe this would resolve itself, depending on how their secret did come out. But now that the Lord had made Shirley a martyr by making her the only one who knew this, He owed her a break or two.

**Britta**

Two more weeks later, Britta stumbled onto the "secret" on her way to her "potluck corner." Unfortunately for her, Jeff's Lexus was parked nearby – giving Britta a good view of a post-coital Jeff and Annie in the backseat. Even more unfortunately, she wasn't high enough to have imagined this – or to forget she saw it in the first place.

Her only break was that they were actually clothed, although Jeff's usual post-sex hair was still intact. Britta didn't know what Annie's sex hair looked like, no matter what Pierce said on Twitter. Yet the hair she had now was probably close enough.

As if Britta wasn't queasy enough, she had to remember her own….experiences in Jeff's Lexus. But she didn't remember her and Jeff looking quite like Jeff and Annie at the end. For one thing, Jeff was still touching Annie even though sex was over. In fact, he almost looked like he was doing….well, the one c-word that Jeff left out of sex.

Well, it wasn't like Britta wanted to cuddle with him back then, either. But of course, he was more willing to do it with Annie, just like everything else. What a jag…..thank God no other women were dumb enough to fall for him anyway.

And then suddenly, Britta saw the upside to all this….Jeff Winger was now off the market. Which meant he wouldn't be trolling for poor, vulnerable one-night stands, at least for a little while. Which meant all of female kind would have one less tall, cocky, way too big-handed problem to deal with.

Which meant Britta couldn't confront Jeff or Annie, or tell anyone about them.

The secrecy was obviously a big reason why Jeff finally gave in to Annie. If Britta exposed them to Shirley and Pierce's sick judgments – and that of society as a whole – Jeff would run away like usual. And once the secrecy was gone, that would make him a lot less hot for Annie too. Or on the off chance it didn't, he'd go back to being ashamed of it, break it off and hit on every woman in town to get away from her.

Plus Annie would be miserable and it would be .00001% Britta's fault, which she really didn't want to be held accountable for. Maybe she just needed to get Jeff out of her system by sleeping with him in secret, like Britta did. But since Annie was…..somewhat smarter than Britta in some areas, she might find a better way to cure herself of him. And since Annie would never let Jeff sleep around in the meantime, she would play a key part in protecting woman kind from him too – albeit a more minor part than Britta.

As such, for the good of Annie and all woman kind, Britta had no choice but to keep this secret. This sacrifice would make Britta the woman of the year – that is, if anyone was allowed to know about it. Damnit, Jeff couldn't let her have that either! She couldn't even rub it in his face in private, or he'd run away and terrorize more naïve girls like Annie!

Assuming of course, he would run away after being found out.

Both Britta and Jeff broke it off for good when they weren't a secret, which was the right call. But Jeff always dealt with Britta in a different way than Annie. First of all, he actually denied he wanted Annie, although that had obviously failed now. Second of all, he actually…..did things for Annie, when he wouldn't do them for anyone else.

Not that Britta needed a man to do things for her, but it seemed to work for less independent people like Annie. Annie was very independent everywhere else, but somehow she let herself be clingy for Jeff anyway, as offensive as that was. Yet she didn't look like the clingy one in the car.

In fact, none of them looked clingy, as they seemed….more relaxed than Britta had ever seen them. And it didn't look like it was entirely about the sex, either. Britta usually needed….relaxing enhancements to get that mellow, and yet it seemed to come to them naturally. If Abed saw this, he'd probably reference some TV or movie couple who looked that in love – wait.

Since when could Britta think of Jeff Winger as being in love and not laugh? It had to be because laughing would expose her…..right?

Okay, that was obviously her cue to get to that potluck corner. Since she was the only one who knew this secret, and she had to protect her sisters from an exposed Jeff, she needed something to enhance her mellow. And to block out this new nagging voice that said Jeff wouldn't really leave Annie if she blabbed….

**Pierce**

Almost two months later, Pierce woke up to find himself in the pool room. It was better than waking up in the supply closet last week – he certainly had better experiences in a supply closet, that's for sure. Especially when Julie Newmar was inside too.

"Here we are. The first place you ever saw me naked." Great, Pierce wasn't really awake and had stumbled into one of Jeff's gay dreams again. Hopefully he was at least banging someone like Leonardo DiCaprio in this dream – he knew he could do better than Burt Ward last time.

"Do I have to pretend to cover my face for old times too?" That voice was too feminine even for Burt Ward. Pierce looked up, shocked to see Annie standing with Jeff near one of the pool tables. He then ducked down, barely remembering not to disturb Jeff in a dream – Caesar Romaro taught him that the hard way months ago.

But this was the weirdest Jeff dream yet if Annie was in it. Pierce looked up again, as Jeff was too busy playing pool and Annie was too busy gazing at him to notice. They weren't getting naked, so this was already a different kind of dream – as if Pierce really expected Jeff to get a woman naked. And since Jeff didn't know Pierce was here, he wouldn't get Annie naked just to screw over Pierce by banging his favorite.

Instead, he was prancing around like an epileptic Mexican after sinking a few shots. "Jeff, I'm already your secret girlfriend, you don't have to go _that _far to impress me," Annie spoke in pretty advanced dream gibberish.

"Don't act like you don't love it," Jeff said as his hips slowly stopped moving.

"Well, I do love you, so you got me-" Annie stopped as she suddenly froze. "Oh no….oh God, I slipped up _now_?"

"What do you mean, _slipped up_?" Jeff asked as he put aside his phallic dream pool cue.

"Come on, Jeff, I've actually been less clingy and schmoopy and lovey dovey than you so far! I knew if I said stuff like I love you, you'd get scared again like the old days. Having a secret relationship with me is a big enough step for you! If I got greedy this quickly, I figured I'd….and you….oh God, here comes the built up crazy Annie tears!" However, Annie's eyes were still kind of dry when Jeff came up to her – but Pierce couldn't speak for other possible wet areas.

"Annie, you're not crazy….not in ways I can't live with, anyway. That's a pretty good reason why I…..well, feel that way, too." Now this dream was bordering on cheesy science fiction.

"Huh? You….wait, I get it, I'm dreaming, right? Good one, dream Jeff!" Annie chuckled.

"Annie, this isn't a dream. I'd be naked for a lot of reasons right now if it was….maybe even if it wasn't, but maybe that'll come later. Among other….no wait, I should get this out of the way first," Jeff shook off and continued. "Look, we've been secret dating for three months, and part of me wanted to do it for about…..12 to 18 months before that. Even I don't have a thick enough skull to block out that it's because I'm in love with you. And when the semester's over and we….don't have to see the group every day….I might be ready to tell them you love me too. And that I love you, if we have time."

As Pierce began to question what reality he was in, Annie pinched herself and then pinched Jeff's nipple extra hard. Jeff jumped rather high at that, but Annie just laughed and giggled. "You'd have woken up and fallen off the bed by now if this was a dream! That means we _did _just say we loved each other!"

"You could have taken my word for it!" Jeff groaned. "Normal people usually pinch _arms_, by the way!" But he stopped complaining when Annie drew him into a few quick kisses. "I know, I know, don't act like you don't love it and you, I know how it goes," Jeff admitted afterwards. "You know….it has been too long since I got naked in here."

"Jeff! Doing…._that _in your Lexus is one thing, but in the building? Right near where we eat chicken fingers? I think one milestone is enough for today," Annie proposed.

"Fine, then you've lost the right to complain about this," Jeff taunted as he got back to shooting pool and gyrating when he made good shots.

"A barely acceptable sacrifice, but I'll take it," Annie teased as she watched Jeff shoot. But both of them still couldn't see Pierce, as he came to grips with being in reality again. Yet if Annie had really hooked up with Jeff, then she had ignored reality herself.

Why would someone as bright as Annie willingly become Jeff's beard? Yet they thought they were by themselves, so Annie wasn't trying to trick anyone when she said she loved him. She must still actually think Jeff was straight….

In that case, Pierce wasn't going to be the one to tell her.

It was one thing to see his favorite get taken in by lies, but quite another thing to burst her anti-gaydar bubble himself. And if they were going steady for three months, maybe Jeff could keep his boy toys hidden for a little longer. At least long enough for Annie to have a few years of happiness before her heart shattered.

If Annie was this happy with Jeff – so much so that she ignored all the gay signs – then Pierce just didn't have it in him to destroy her. Curse him for being the sensitive heart of the group! But since the others were so cruel and ethnic, they'd just screw this up for Annie if they found out. There was certainly no way Britta could know, or she'd rat Jeff out for betraying her fellow gays.

Maybe Pierce could increase his gay innuendos so Jeff would crack himself, and Jeff would be the bad guy instead! His past jokes were way too subtle anyway – clearly much too subtle for Annie. Well then, that's what he'd do! But other than the jokes, he wouldn't spill anything to anyone that could pop poor Annie's bubble.

Then again, things got pretty out of hand when he said that to Eartha Kitt. Maybe dreaming about that would calm him down…..

**Dean Pelton**

Over a week later, Dean Pelton was feeling good, despite only having his Dean clothes on. The semester was almost over, Greendale was only $400,000 more in debt than usual, and there still wasn't enough new paintball paint and guns for another war! There might be hope for this late April after all!

The Dean just had to go into the supply closet and –

But he instantly forgot what he wanted when he opened the door.

He only opened it a few inches, so Jeff and Annie didn't notice him. But that few open inches was enough for the Dean to see them making out big time. In fact, their hands were grabbing the bottom of their shirts – and for the first time ever, the Dean didn't want to see Jeff's shirt go up any higher.

Somehow, he closed the door without making a sound or alerting them. But that might have been because the biggest scream of all time was still caught in his throat. His jaw remained wide open and frozen as he forced his legs to start moving. Yet he stayed slack jawed as the horror kept replaying in his mind.

The kissing itself wasn't horrible – he always figured Jeff's mouth moved that well during kisses. And Annie was able to keep up better than he thought – but who could really keep up with Jeff in anything? Nevertheless, the real horror was what the kisses represented.

Dean Pelton was probably the only one who noticed that Jeff had a certain….connection with Annie. Moreso than any connection he had with….anyone else around here. While everyone else was blissfully ignorant, he knew that if Jeff ever got closer to Annie, he'd be a goner.

But after all those years of sexual tension, forbidden attraction and delicious word play, Jeff finally exploded after all. Now he was romancing Annie in broom closets, going all the way with her, and ignoring anyone else who might want to spend time with him.

The Dean knew there was a reason why Jeff had ignored him more than usual – even after all the time he spent on that Madonna costume after the Super Bowl! All that effort for nothing…..was the sacrilegious anti-Madonna thing he'd say if he was mentally ill.

Nevertheless, now it was all over. Jeff would be lost in Annie world forever, none the wiser to anyone else. It was bad enough he'd be leaving Greendale next year – especially since the Dean's first few ideas to make him take senior year four more times weren't panning out, or "legal." He had to face it….Jeff was leaving in 12 months, and he had even less reason to notice him now.

Nope, that was too depressing to be an option.

In fact, he didn't see a thing. He went into that study closet and no one was getting naked at all. Jeff and Annie weren't together, and Jeff still knew that people other than Annie existed. That was the truth, and that was how it would stay. No pesky, friendship-killing things like facts and his own eyes were going to tell him otherwise. And there was no sense telling Jeff's other neglected friends and letting them lie to him too! Yes, this was foolproof!

"Pop pop!" Dean Pelton heard before he saw Magnitude passing by….and that second "Pop" was way more suspicious than usual.

"You saw nothing!" the Dean screeched at Magnitude. "You tell them anything else, those pops _will _be hopped on! Pops will be hopped!"

The Dean gave Magnitude a rather poor death glare to punctuate his threat. But Magnitude only asked "Pop?" before the Dean turned away, confident he got the message. Yes, that was what that "Pop" translated to.

Just to be completely at ease, Dean Pelton ran like a banshee to his office. Erasing these hallucinations was nothing that 6 hours of Seal music wouldn't take care of.

**Troy**

Another week later, Troy was heading to the study room for the group's afternoon meeting. But on the way, he thought he saw Jeff and Annie standing in a corner – and thought he saw them kiss for just one second. It was just a peck – and he had no way of knowing that his friends had seen them do a lot more. Yet the image dug itself into his brain hole and refused to come out of his brain butt.

"Hey guys, are Jeff and Annie in a play or something?" Troy asked once he got into the study room.

"No, Annie needed a break from our plays after last month, remember? Plus Jeff had a strict 'one play only' clause in his contract when he did the last one," Abed reminded him.

"Oh, right! So that means Jeff and Annie kissed a while ago because they're in love!" Troy blurted out in realization.

But before Troy could take that in – or wonder what kind of naked kisses they were doing – Britta, Shirley and Pierce jumped up and started talking all at once. Troy couldn't make it out, but some of it sounded like they were denying Jeff and Annie were together, and that he was just seeing things. As Troy got more confused, he turned to Abed for clarity, like always, but he was pretty quiet – which was even freakier.

Just before Troy broke down from all the noise, Britta came to his rescue and spoke in clear English. "Wait a minute, why are _you _denying all this, Pierce?"

"What's there to deny? The rainbow cult is still fully united, that's all I know!" Pierce said in….whatever old language Pierce used.

"Oh dear Lord, you know!" Shirley called out.

"Pierce can't know any…..wait a minute, do _you _know too?" Britta asked before turning to Abed. "Abed, do you….oh wait, dumbest question ever, _of course_ you know! I mean, um…..know what now?" she nervously asked while looking at Shirley and Pierce.

"Seriously? I kept their secret for _three months_….and 40 sleepless days and nights debating this with Jesus! And you _all_ knew about Jeff and Annie?" Shirley thundered.

Troy didn't know what he knew or believed in anymore – but thankfully Dean Pelton came by and announced, "Good Dean-ing, everybody!"

"Dean, thank God! Jeff and Annie have been together for months and everyone knew before me! You didn't know, so I'm not _that_ clueless, right?" Troy asked desperately. Instead of answering, the Dean shouted, "Seal, why have you failed me? I compare you to a kiss from a rose in _Hell!_" and ran out crying.

"So….we won't shatter Annie's delusion that Jeff likes sex with her? That's what we agreed on, right?" Pierce checked. "Come on, Jeff said he loved her two weeks ago! His gigolo should nag him into dumping her any day now, and then we're off the hook!"

"Awww, he loves her?" Shirley cooed before suddenly frowning. "Just when I started sleeping again, thank you _so _much, Jeffrey! Okay, in light of this new info, I'll need three more months to debate with Jesus about this…."

"Oh no, he's not getting credit for this one!" Britta argued. "We're keeping quiet so Jeff doesn't dump Annie and hit on everything else with a skirt….other than the Dean!" Yet after saying that, Britta turned back to Pierce and gasped, "Wait, he really said _love_?"

Britta, Pierce and Shirley went back to talking all at once, as Abed finally went over to calm Troy's jumbled mind. "It's okay, Troy. This happened three days sooner than I thought, but it's okay. Now that we all know about Jeff and Annie being in love, and we're not ironically keeping it a secret from each other anymore, we're right on track for our big finale cliffhanger after all."

"Good, then we won't have to push you off that hard." And just like that, everyone saw Jeff and Annie outside the study room, having heard quite enough already – especially after Abed summed it up.

Troy was still struggling to piece this all together. But there was at least one thing he knew for sure.

All his friends were the worst secret keepers _ever_.


End file.
